I haven’t felt like writing after my last blog post ‘Finding a good care home (part 2)’. Mum’s move to a new care home has been more traumatic than I imagined. It felt at times that all the months of preparation, shortlisting, interviews and visits were a complete waste of time.
On Thursday I described how I’m setting about finding a care home for mum. After a process involving “must have” criteria, shortlists, in-depth interviews and several visits, my sister and I finally chose two homes. We have reservations about both. It turns out one of them may have doubts about us! Thinking about respite Earlier … Continue reading Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 2)
I’ve now been caring for mum for over a year in her home in South Wales. I thought I would be back in my home in Brighton by now, or at least that mum would be on the point of moving into a care home. I’m discovering it’s not that simple… Three homes meet “must … Continue reading Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 1)
A statistic haunts me as I search for a new care home in preparation for mum’s final move. On average, residents of care homes get only two minutes of social interaction with staff a day. While this statistic is based on a small sample of homes in England, I fear it sums up the quality … Continue reading Desperately Seeking a Good Care Home
2018 was quite a year for me and my mum. After over two years I brought mum back to her own home. As I look back, I am extremely grateful to all those who have supported us, particularly one doctor...
Mum has been back at her former care home since last Friday. This has enabled me to attend a mindfulness teacher training course in Oxford and take holiday with my husband, Jack. After six weeks looking after mum, I felt physically and emotionally drained when I dropped her off. As I drove away I felt … Continue reading Decision Time: Does Mum Stay Home?
Picture this. You wake up in a strange place. You don’t recognise the room, you don’t know where you are, or even what country you’re in. Gradually you notice familiar objects: your dressing gown, photos of family and ornaments. You wonder how you got here. You try the door to the garden, it is locked. … Continue reading Mum’s Groundhog Day
Choosing a care home for a family member living with dementia, may be the most important decision you ever make on their behalf. Of course if they have the capacity to make the decision, your role might be to support them. Either way, the more informed you are the better. The choice will have huge … Continue reading Choosing a Care Home
Since mum went into care in October 2015, I have been wondering whether an institutional home is the right place for her. Experts and professionals involved in dementia care have insisted to me that she is better off in a care home. This reassurance has put my mind at rest for weeks, and even months, at a time. However, the question invariably comes back with greater force and more insistence than before.
Whether you care for a relative with dementia at home, or visit them in a care home, you need to be mindful of the potential toll on your own physical and mental health. Helpful advice that I dismissed. Don’t make the same mistake.