Mum dies peacefully

My mum died in the early hours of this morning, peacefully in her sleep. Despite her dementia, she has remained physically strong and robust over the last four years. After each knock, scrape and illness, she has recovered completely, regaining her original strength. But not this time. Two falls and an infection less than a week ago led …

The year in pictures: Caring for mum at home

Mum moved back into a care home last month. I have lived with her and cared for her over the last 12 months, but had always planned to return to my own home at the end of the year. I took lots of photos to capture our good times together, knowing these times were limited. I've enjoyed compiling these pictures, which bring back treasured memories.

Settling into the care home

Whether or not a move to a care home is planned or triggered by crisis, there is a lot you can to do to support the wellbeing of your loved one once they have moved. This post shares some ideas.

Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 3)

I haven’t felt like writing after my last blog post ‘Finding a good care home (part 2)’. Mum’s move to a new care home has been more traumatic than I imagined. It felt at times that all the months of preparation, shortlisting, interviews and visits were a complete waste of time.

Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 2)

On Thursday I described how I’m setting about finding a care home for mum. After a process involving “must have” criteria, shortlists, in-depth interviews and several visits, my sister and I finally chose two homes. We have reservations about both. It turns out one of them may have doubts about us! Thinking about respite Earlier …

Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 1)

I’ve now been caring for mum for over a year in her home in South Wales. I thought I would be back in my home in Brighton by now, or at least that mum would be on the point of moving into a care home. I’m discovering it’s not that simple… Three homes meet “must …

Desperately Seeking a Good Care Home

A statistic haunts me as I search for a new care home in preparation for mum’s final move. On average, residents of care homes get only two minutes of social interaction with staff a day. While this statistic is based on a small sample of homes in England, I fear it sums up the quality …

So Long 2018 and Thanks for all the Support

2018 was quite a year for me and my mum. After over two years I brought mum back to her own home. As I look back, I am extremely grateful to all those who have supported us, particularly one doctor...

Decision Time: Does Mum Stay Home?

Mum has been back at her former care home since last Friday. This has enabled me to attend a mindfulness teacher training course in Oxford and take holiday with my husband, Jack. After six weeks looking after mum, I felt physically and emotionally drained when I dropped her off. As I drove away I felt …

Mum’s Groundhog Day

Picture this. You wake up in a strange place. You don’t recognise the room, you don’t know where you are, or even what country you’re in. Gradually you notice familiar objects: your dressing gown, photos of family and ornaments. You wonder how you got here. You try the door to the garden, it is locked. …