Responding Mindfully to Emotional Turmoil

Now I have adequate time off and enough sleep, the biggest issue I face is how to support mum through times of emotional turmoil. The turmoil is not only felt by her. When mum dips into despair or becomes greatly agitated, I experience a surprising range of emotions. Empathy, compassion and concern for mum are …

Sleep Deprivation Marks Mum’s Fourth Week at Home

Mum got up 16 times the night before last. Yesterday, with just over two hours sleep, I felt like death warmed up. It may explain why both mum and I were unusually weepy watching the last two episodes of British period drama, Cranford! Over the last week, I have had four sleep-deprived nights. I guess …

Law Protects People with Dementia

The Mental Capacity Act 2005 protects people living with dementia. A friend of mine, who works in social care, had mentioned the Act to me in response to some concerns I had about my mother. Feeling overwhelmed by all that I didn’t know about caring for someone with dementia, I didn't look further into it …

My Treacherous Lie: Dementia, Death and Deception

Is it OK to deceive someone who has dementia? The general view seems to be yes, if it helps avoid unnecessary distress, and is in their best interests to do so. But how do you assess when that is? One major deception has been troubling me…

Changing Rooms

Last Friday, my mother moved into a new room on a newly created lower ground floor in her care home. Having created the new floor, the care home sought to separate residents so that those who had ‘nursing’ needs above usual dementia support, stayed on the original floor. Nine residents including my mother were moved …

How to Say Goodbye

The worst part of every encounter with my mother comes when it is time to say goodbye. I sometimes stay at the care home much longer than I planned, trying to find the best moment to go. When the time comes she often seems surprised, and asks, ‘You’re not leaving me here on my own, …